softly, slowly, the leaves are brightening
glowing green in noonday sun,
and surely the sky is opening wide,
cracked, to reveal the blue.
do you recall the fragile bud
which bloomed in our clasped hands,
despite harsh winter’s lingering grip
for the very first time
in the very first days
of our very first spring together?
that remembrance, more than an episode,
warms my soul through sharpest winds
that might have left me cold,
and in the sun proliferates -
a hearth becomes my soul.
you dreamed a garden with golden flowers
and a pale, opened dress, and i;
my skin inviting your hands to touch.
darling, i promise these things
that you have only imagined
will come to be before long.
our silver bands will remain alone
to speak of our worldly belongings
only those vows, and bodies to reveal
our hearts’ untainted affections.
my soul allies itself to yours
even as the warmth of your body is gone,
and bitter water depletes my strength.
colder grows my quiet home
without the curves i’ve known so well
to give my hands loving purpose.
the moon will fill again, and so
will you come to my arms by and by,
as the heavens revolve ever more,
we return to each other again.
i miss desperately, nights
with soft, unspoken music
below your quiet breathing,
your hands quickly moving
over the glowing keys.
just waking barely, i take ease
in your body, safe and warm
beside me - above me -
existing in the air
we’ve paid to call our own.
little golden lights are faint,
to welcome sleep and ward against
the monsters in the dark -
but better is tender knowledge
of a soul well-loved beside,
to keep the noise and terror
sleeping, like our minds.
i missed your fall
old friend, you screamed and i was helpless.
all the good in me
all the good in a bottle
could not save you.
if only we had missed the train -
stayed quietly, high above the world,
shivering in the snow
then at least it would have ended sooner.
if i had missed the train
and not your fall,
oh friend you were,
this monstrous act would not have taken
your sweet smile, and sweeter love,
and traded them for nothing much of you at all.
there is a garden waiting for us both
outside these difficult times, but for now,
sow joy within, be patient still,
and see snowdrops bloom inside your heart
'til they can be freed again.
while the sunlight faded
softly this afternoon,
and the cooling air
and dampened earth
whispered to my skin,
the memory of your earthly eyes
and body warmed by mine
preserved the joy the sun had given
early in the morning.
take up my heart and yours i’ll carry,
hold fast to me and all the world shall wilt
against your love.
we are young, but youth is nothing if
it is not passionful and strong,
and we may grow just yet,
like eucalypts, which sprout anew,
time and time again.
I was laughing, and I said
If I rolled us both off the edge, what would you do?
And you were quiet and you said
I would go with you
And my heart held such great things, all I could do
Was lean down to your neck, to hide
And rise once more to see tears through tears
And kiss you, praying for neverland
how simple, how good
to see the shadows born of starvation
(sleep; love; food - no matter)
ease away, away and beyond,
and leave only smiles behind,
soft eyelashes ‘gainst your cheek, and peace.